He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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