Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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