when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
