Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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