theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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