That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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