I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
