There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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