was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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