I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
