Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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