why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
