Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
