420 ftw
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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