Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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