everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
