Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
