Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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