WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
