chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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