mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
