Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
