Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
