i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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