It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
