im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
