just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
