He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
