we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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