last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
