I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
