Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
