My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
