Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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