just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
