Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
