I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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