3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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