all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
This house was built for laser tag.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
