Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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