It was confusing and full of hummus
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize