I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
