Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
