Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just high enough for therapy.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
After tacos, we're chasing women.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
