he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
