make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize