i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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