??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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