Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
