You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
