At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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