No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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