this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
