There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
