Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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