I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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