Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
