Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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