So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
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