Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize