i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
