i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
