They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
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