Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
