I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
